


Nialli Horaj and the Anniekinders

by Blinding_Lights



Series: Unpleasantries [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Crack, M/M, literally nothing else but crack, lots of crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-05-14
Packaged: 2018-03-30 12:54:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3937525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blinding_Lights/pseuds/Blinding_Lights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall's gone Minaj cray cray. Crack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nialli Horaj and the Anniekinders

**Author's Note:**

> The first installment to my latest series, Unpleasantries.
> 
> All spelling and grammatical errors are intentional. I hope y'all enjoy this little piece of shit I wrote in my English class :) I've been putting off posting this since the day I wrote it (February 3rd, lol that's a long ass time xD)

"ME ANACONDA AIN'T, ME ANACONDA AIN'T, ME ANACONDA AIN-"

Den Lewisvid Becklinson kicked a football -IT'S SOCCER- at Nialli Horaj's fat ass because, "SHUT UP YOU'S IS IN UNO DIRECTIONES. NOT THE RAP INDUSTRY."

Nialli Horaj laughed the Minaj laugh perfectly because he studied the ancient art of Minaj laughter but it was also enhanced because of his Irish Irishness. "I'M GOIN' SOLO YO."

Nialli strutted to the stage and started rapping a cover of "All About That Super Bass". But den the lights dimmed and BeyonZenn upstage Nialli Horaj. BeyonZenn, clad in a leather studded bodysuit, started singing "If I Were Girl But It's Just Rhetorically Speaking Because BeyonZenn Loves Dick And Gay Sex So He'd Like His Dick Please And Most Especially Justiam Timberpayne's 10 Incher" causing Nialli Horaj to cry, ruining the make-up on his face. 10 pound lashes drooped over his eyes causing him to trip over his stilettos that were as high as BeyonZenn and Lewisvid in South Ameruuurica but not as high as Justiam Timberpayne's dick when it stand straight up tho. He started falling and he saw his life flash before his eyes. Flashes of food crossed his vision and he grew desperately hungry. He hopes dey has foodies in Anacond-eaven.

But then HarZan, monkey ape boy savior, comes swinging in! HarZan Styles was quick to catch Nialli in his arms. HarZan swung around duh room on a vine and where the hell did dat vine come from oh yeah HarZan llike's Vine and I likes Vine too but not recently because Vines gone stupido like SmackCam? More like you're a fucking douchebag like stop that's not funny and it's a waste of resources like you're killing the environment using up dem paper plates and cows are suffering because of you selfish whores because you know where whipped cream comes from? Cows. Dey come from cows.

HarZan safety lands on he feet on de flo with Nialli still in he arms. Den the two leaned in to kiss ("Ew, Nurry." sed Justiam Timberpayne) but den soccer balls -FOOTBALLS- start plummeting from sky and Lewisvid started screeching.

"HARZAN IS MIIIIIIIINNNNNEEEEEE." Said Lewisvid. HarZan looks at Becklinson with wide, terrified yet insanely lust-filled eyes. He outer shell begins to crack and shatter revealing the posh, ever fashionable Harrytoria Styleham, husband-wife of Lewisvid Becklinson. Harrytoria and Lewisvid run away to the Bahamallamas where Harrytoria, once every full moon, can be HarZan once again and eat bananas. All 'twas peaceful but the Jaws theme song could be heard all throughout them islands.

Luckyly, Harrytoria was currently HarZan because it was a full moon you know. HarZan's ape instincts went wild and he runs to protect Lewisvid from the evil gang of anukondas slithering to their large palm tree home the was up in the palm trees where their house was located covered by palm leaves because it was a house sittin on top huge ass palm trees. Among dem hissing noises and haunting Jaws music, lies the sound of laughter. Stronger and more powerful. Laughter that could be from the ancient, bootyful Queen Kneeki herself but no. Dis was the laughter of the crazed Nialli Horaj, bent on claiming HarZan and justifying Neerrry ("Ew, Norry" sud Justiam Timberpayne) (He no support Neighrry).

HarZan was all like "NO ME WANTS LEWISVID. ME LOVES THE BECKLINSON." Stomps on the Annecondos. The battle is fierce but not as fierce as BeyonZenn as he sings dem high notes to hyponotize all da anatacanadas and Justiam Timberpayne. Justiam's ANACONDER grows, grows past his 10 inches, past the length of a FIVE DOLLA FOOT LOOOOOONG ANY ANY ANY, and den reaches over to BeyonZenn. Over grown Timberpayne dick poke BeyonZenn and BeyonZenn like. Dey become power couple and dey couple name be JustBeyonZeniam (#catchy).

Nialli Horaj cry because he no gots HarZan but den eat food and then he become Niallen Degeneroran and he feel as alrighty as duh Girl Almighty. His true original form be dat, not cray cray Horaj. He Degeneroran and love jokes and foodies and guitar and it's part of Isang Direksyon. HarZan get stuck being HarZan because HarZan has better instincts but dat okay because HarZan has big dick and big heart. He also over protect and fuck Lewisvid long and hard dat dey gets ittybittybabybabies. HarZan and Lewisvid get murried and have Long hurred, soccer -TIS FOOTBALL- playing bebez. Dey name deh daughter Harriana Starbucks-Cup Becklinson beecuase they like Ariana Venti's songz and ta boi Larry Stylinson because Larry5eva beotchies.

Anikinder is so old newsies.


End file.
